A sniff in Sephora

I was trying on lipsticks at Sephora and trying to find a nice, sheer neutral pinky lipstick and the saleswoman suggested this fancy Dior lipstick. When she handed me the lipstick I got a big whiff of the smell of expensive lipstick. It smelled exactly like the way my Mom used to smell when she got ready for fancy events and I watched her get ready, sitting cross-legged on the brown shag carpet in her walk-in closet with gold wallpaper. I didn't buy the lipstick (it was $24) but now I know where to find my mom's mid-80's smell.

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: being a grown-up, air-conditioning in my car, living close to where I work, going to the gym in the am, dental insurance, being able to be flexible, shoes I liked so much I bought four pairs, sushi, and being surprised by a slice of red velvet cake (never had it before and it was goood!).

Ladies who brunch

Had a lovely afternoon with a dozen women who came over to my house for a potluck brunch - great company, yummy homemade (and Whole Foods) delights, and when it was over I took a nap (sleep schedule still off from getting up so early yesterday it was the middle of the night) then hung out with My Heart's Desire, read the paper, and finished Wolf at the Table, which I really did not like (got it from library but would have been bummed if I had paid for it).

Saturday

Got up really, really early, picked up friend, went to spiritual meeting, had breakfast with a dozen nice people, dropped off friend, got manicure/pedicure/eyebrow wax (I'm a girl!), picked up supplies for tomorrow's brunch at supermarket, dropped off groceries at home, packed cooler of drinks, went to park, watched My Heart's Desire play softball and gave him ice-cold drinks, came home, watched My Name is Earl, took humongous and well-deserved nap, drove to Arlington with My Heart's Desire to feed his former roommate's cat, had amazing dinner at Edy's Chicken & Steak, a cash-only chicken place that is always busy, came home, prepared for brunch, finished Earl, read half of Augusten Burrow's A Wolf at the Table (disappointed so far), then went to bed - Good Night!

Writing Group and Reading

Met with writing group for Greek salad and soft shell crab pizza, they liked my personal essay (which felt like opening a vein when I was writing it); then we joined the crowd to Politics and Prose to hear member Alex MacLennan read his story from Stress City along with other contributors, including our former teacher Richard McCann.

Vacation Envy

I am suffering from wanderlust yet cannot afford to travel now.

So much time, so little to do (strike that, reverse it)

How do you know how much is right?

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: three days in a row at Gold's, sharing my favorite dinner with a friend at Thai Chef, Lars and the Real Girl, connecting with old friends, my Treo, being able to go with the flow, anniversaries, Rock Creek Park, classes at the Writer's Center, and watching My Name is Earl with My Heart's Desire.

T minus 2 weeks

My birthday blues are coming a little bit early this year :(

Online Craft Sale

I can't stop buying things on Etsy! Including this a card of this siren print that I framed and hung up, two awesome beaded necklaces, my BFF's birthday present, and these Keep Calm and Carry On postcards.

Breakfast pour deux

This morning My Heart's Desire and I made breakfast together - scrambled eggs with cheddar and chives from our garden, hash browns, bacon, and cherries - and ate at the table, listening to Blues and reading the paper, a lovely leisurely meal.

Malaise

Must one suffer from it or is possible just to experience it?

Pioneers

My Heart’s Desire and I have only lived in our rental house since last spring, but so far we have experienced nearly a dozen electrical outages (showering by candlelight and watching DVD’s on my laptop); a broken washing machine, loss of cable, and most recently, lack of air conditioning, loss of Internet (is Al Gore mad at us?) and telephone – pretty soon the bird feeder will be our main source of entertainment.

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: cherries from Harry & David, being able to stay at a cool B&B at conference instead of boring corporate hotel, flexible spending, BFF's birthday gift came and it rocks!, homegrown basil in a basil/tomato/mozzarella salad with balsamic vinegar, the carpet samples My Heart's Desire brings home from work, people that say "Bless you" on the Metro, and the air conditioning repairman for fixing the A/C today!

My brain hurts

Did research all day and now am looking forward to having sushi and chocolate covered pretzel (don't knock it 'till you try it) from Whole Foods with friend.

Finches and Robin Red Breasts and Cardinals

My Heart's Desire has become a bird man, installing a bird feeder off the deck that can be seen from the master bedroom, attracting so many birds that it needs to be refilled daily and this morning I was woken up by a battle of the ages: Squirrel Vs. Bird Feeder.

Sunday with My Heart's Desire

...slept in, watched birds (and squirrel) feast on bird food, had nummy feta and tomato omelet with flatbread breakfast, read the paper, found all 12 differences in The Post's second glance, hung clean towels on the line, now I am reading and he is building planters for our tomatoes.

A triumph of the human spirit

Best book I've read this year: What is the What by Dave Eggers, a novel about the unbelievable experiences of Sudanese refugee Valentino Achak Deng.

Caught up

Went to dinner at Zorba's with my mentor and we talked (okay, I talked) a lot and it was like she had hardly been gone, much less abroad for seven months.

Green-Eyed Monster

Last year I was a traveling fool (California! Colorado! Chicago!) and this year I can't afford to go anywhere marvelous - I am suffering from summer vacation envy.

Women

Short list of awesome women that are important in my life: my mentor, my three mentees, my therapist, my BFF, my writing mentor, one of my writing partners, my gal pals, my sister, my Mom, of course, my honorary, nice, Jewish Grandma, and my Aunts.

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: everyone I love being on the same continent for now, the sweet, clean smell of liquid fabric softener, buying prescriptions from the mail-away pharmacy (3 month supply for the price of 2!), IM, talking about This Charming Man, being able to help someone out, planning a visit to see my family, driving by the Iwo Jima memorial and hearing the Marine Corps band sunset parade, having a job where nobody dies when I make a mistake, ordering bday prezzie for BFF (her bday is just 33 short days away!), requests from real friends on Facebook, reading trashy magazines at the gym, Belleruth Naparstek affirmations, asking for and getting great advice, organizing friends to go to the Gipsy Kings, the Greek omlette at the Metro 29 Diner, and the way My Heart's Desire gets so into watching DIY shows.

What's my name?

When I introduce myself in a social situation, I use my first and last name, despite some people (including My Heart's Desire) thinking that's weird.

Must sleep

I don't know what it is about today, but I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, and I already took a half hour nap this afternoon.

:|

Ugh.

America

To celebrate America's 232nd birthday, My Heart's Desire and I had our second annual Independence Day BBQ (despite threats of thunderstorms) and it was fun - weather cooperated, lots of stuff to grill, and a dozen or so friends (and one Uncle) came by for good times.

Best snack ever

Hot, salty, buttery popcorn plus Junior Mints goodness (chocolaty! minty!) all melty.

Who's better - Sean or Shawn?

My Heart's Desire and I stayed up late watching Rescue Me (Minisodes!).

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: remembering to bring my mobile phone with me today, balancing work/life, having cash in my wallet, lunch with a friend, The Book of Dahlia, health insurance, feministing.com, sharing a pizza at Faccia Luna with one of my favorite women, dining alfresco, other book lovers, Weeds on demand, and going to bed early.

Why to vote Republican

Not really a morning person

Nobody is more surprised than I am that I actually like getting up early and going to the gym before work.

I wasn't expecting this question today

So, are you a good housewife?

I wish everyone I love lived in the same time zone, preferably the same one as me!

Who, me?

This morning I had breakfast with my writing mentor/teacher/thesis advisor/former landlord and she told me the second she saw me in class, she thought: trouble.

Going to work with a stamped hand

Last night I had fun at the Richard Cheese show!

Note to self

Before putting a bottle of Diet Coke into purse, check to make sure it is fully closed!

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: feeling calm, sweet cherries, my good pen, What is the What? book on CD, Mediterranean potluck with some of my favorite women, dining alfresco, the white chocolate raspberry cupcakes, seeing people grow, the smell of babies, hugs from people who really love me, and My Heart's Desire finishing up the laundry so I can go to bed early.

Surprising Feminist Icon

This woman eats constantly, kicks ass, and looks good in red lipstick!

Zzzz

I have not been getting enough sleep lately, must change!

Stuck

When I want to make a lot of changes, it's hard to know where to start.

Reading the dictionary

I bought a 1939 dictionary and have been amusing myself by looking up words, like negotiatrix (female negotiator), mountain dew (intoxicating liquor; whiskey, especially illicit), and wellegant (swell and elegant).

Lovely

Once in a great while I'll have a day that's lovely from start to finish. Today was one. I slept until I woke up (a rarity), then read my book, took a shower, went to a friend's house for homemade Indian food, had great chat, got mani/pedi, came home, read more, had dinner on the deck with My Heart's Desire (he shopped and cooked) and some friends, watched an episode of How It's Made while cuddling with My Heart's Desire on the couch, then finished book, blogged, read, and went to sleep. Good night!

When can I stop doing this?

Open mouth, insert foot.

Yay!

My mentor is coming home on Sunday from nearly seven months abroad, not a moment too soon!

Work in progress

I am becoming the woman that I want to be.

2008 is flying by!

The year is half over already - I can't believe how fast it's going.

Pouring Rain

When I left work this afternoon, the skies opened up on me and by the time I got to my car I was carrying my shoes, with soaking wet hair.

It all comes down to one question...

What am I willing to spend -- money or time?

Teeth. Loved. It.

My Heart's Desire and I just finished watching Teeth. Finally, a feminist horror movie! He thought it was strange, but I really enjoyed it. And I loved the message that this movie sent.

I love that a movie like this even gets made. Add it to your queue, let me know what you think.

Another V8, please

Okay, so I finished Smart Girls Like Me by Diane Vadino. In a word: zzzzz. This book is not worth the time it takes to read it.

I love a parade

I'm considering going to New York for the Coney Island Mermaid Parade, after all, I love mermaids, I love New York, and I love parades!

Girls, girls, girls

Even though I am part of a couple, it is really important for me to spend time with female friends and I am very much looking forward to tonight's girls' dinner!

Grouchy, party of 2

Being grouchy is a surefire way to get other people to act grouchy back.

No grains smaller than rice

On three separate occasions, I have tried to make risotto, polenta, and quinoa. All of the attempts were colossal failures, rendering the meals inedible. After the last fiasco (My Heart’s Desire asked incredulously, “There’s ricotta in this? And garlic? And bacon?”), I am no longer going to attempt to make grains that are smaller than rice.

I'm serious

My fine line and wrinkles do not need correcting!

Attitude determines altitude

I got a much-needed attitude adjustment around 8pm.

A one-issue voter

After looking up the McCain history of anti-choice voting, I am now officially for Obama.

Everybody has it, nobody talks about it

Why is it so hard to talk about money?

Powerless

Lost power for the second time this week.

Home with a toothache

I watched trashy reality shows on YouTube - shh!

One awesome book, another not awesome at all

First, the awesome. House of Sand And Fog. It's not a new book, but I hadn't read it before. Why? Honestly, because it was one of Oprah's picks and most of her picks I really, really do not like. I got this copy on the cheap and just tore into it. It was beautifully written, touching, and I could hardly put it down, reading it in two sittings. I even cried during one part. I had seen the movie ages ago, but the book was not just more but incredible. Definitely worth reading!

Breaking News! V.C. Andrews has been robbed! I finished Shoot the Moon yesterday and can't believe I was able to stomach the whole thing. A predictable, trite plot, complete with flat characters and a familial romance straight out of a V.C. Andrews novel. The nicest thing I can say about it is: Yiich.

Next on the list: Smart Girls Like Me by Diane Vadino.

No Windy City for me

The poetry residency winner was announced, alas, it wasn't me - so hope for that is no longer alive.

Blech

Worst lunch ever: stale Cheerios with expired Silk.

Mediocre books, or, I could have had a V8

Recently I've read a couple of books that I really wanted to like, but didn't. The Friday Night Knitting Club was lent to me by my honorary grandmother, and she didn't like it either. We both found it incredibly cheesy and not very well developed. I really liked the premise and I tend to like books about women (particularly inter-generational friendships) but this was worse than a Lifetime movie. Really, I could have had a V8.

The Spare Wife I got from the library and I would have been furious if I had paid for it. I liked Alex Witchel's Me Times Three but this book was almost impossible to get invested in the flat characters or care one way or the other if the scandal broke. It didn't. Maybe the fact that I kept falling asleep while reading it was a sign...


Next on my reading list are Billie Letts Shoot the Moon and Andre Dubus III House of Sand and Fog. I got these at the library book sale for $1 (yes, I wrote a check) and am looking forward to reading them. I almost bought Shoot the Moon at Target the day before, but I refrained and saved $11.

Chicago poetry residency

I applied for a poetry residency and am keeping hope alive!

Ouchy

Nothing is worse than a toothache.

My garden grows!

A huge hydrangea bush sits outside my home office window and in the last few weeks it has been growing like crazy! This very afternoon I cut the first hydrangeas of the year and placed them on my table. Lovely, no?

Nummy

I plucked a warm strawberry off the vine and ate it in the field.

Bethesda Farmer's Market

My Heart's Desire and I bought asparagus at the Bethesda Farmer's Market, a place I drive by at least five times per week, and had never been in until today.

Teeny-tiny check

I wrote a check at the library book sale for $1.

It might be true...

While I was thinking of advice to share (see right hand column), my mind wandered to some of the advice from my Grandma Rhoda. My mom's mother, Grandma Rhoda, died before I was born, but my mom passed some of her ideas down to me.

When I was a teenager, my mom took me bra shopping (I refused to wear white or lace and hated those little rosettes) and I wanted a black bra. My mom said no. Grandma Rhoda had told her that only sluts wear black bras and anklets. So my mom said no black bras were allowed. I could have any other color or pattern of bra while I lived at home, but black bras were strictly off limits! I still feel slightly rebellious when I plunk down my card for a black one.

I'm light-years away from having a daughter that needs a bra, but I wonder if I'll implement the same rule. Hmmm.

You really can get anything on Craigslist

After the success of the file cabinet, I went back on Craigslist to see what else I could get cheap or free. I saw everything from free hamsters to free spray paint to free hymnal books to set of six VCR cassettes entitled "Einstein's Relativity and the Quantum Revolution: Modern Physics for Non-Scientists." But my very favorite item available is: a rusty wok. Seriously. What are you supposed to do with this besides get tetanus!?

And the sitar played on...

Last night, My Heart's Desire and I drove out to the middle of the far-flung suburbs to pick up a $10 file cabinet advertised on Craigslist. I have lots to file and right now all of my files are in various boxes. The neighborhood was brand new, and I felt like we were driving around Agrestic.

After the file cabinet was loaded up, we went to the shopping plaza for dinner. He loves Moby Dick House of Kabob, so he had a little kubideh and I had some grilled chicken. It was after 9pm and there were only a few other tables. The music sounded like instrumental sitar elevator music and I didn't recognize any of the songs. Until I heard the slowed-down sitar cover of Toni Braxton's Un-break My Heart.

Just like Momma

I asked My Heart's Desire to hand me some Advil from my cosmetic bag, and he pulled out a small, black and white checkered bag. He sighed, pulling out a hefty, medium-sized cosmetic bag. "Yes," I said, "the Advil's in the Excedrin bottle." My Heart's Desire gave me a look and rooted around, pushing aside lip gloss and hand sanitizer and hair bands and nail polish and matches and emergency Benadryl, finally handing over two Advil. He shook my cosmetic bag and asked, "Is there anything you don't have in here?"

Just then I realized, I had a prepared-for-anything cosmetic bag, just like my Mom. Including the days of the week pill case (the letters are rubbed off the front) so I remember to take my vitamin and blood pressure medicine daily. I was just one step away from carrying a variety of pills in a Tic-Tac container. At my brother's high school graduation I asked for a Tic-Tac and she accidentally gave me a heavy-duty migraine painkiller.

Just like Momma, if I am on line for more than 1 minute, I have to chat someone up. I can't drive by a garage sale with out stopping. I rarely order sodas in restaurants (I could get a six-pack for that much money!). When I want to keep something in a safe place, I put it in a cardboard box marked SAFE PLACE so I don't forget.

What's the next step in acting like Mom? Starting sentences with Anyhoo? Carrying an old Starbucks cup and my own teabag and asking the barista for "more" hot water?

Mmm, Nummy

Here is the recipe for my new favorite meal. It's good for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Plus it's cheap and easy/fast to make.

Toast 2 Eggo waffles (I like the Nutri-Grain kind, but whatevs)
Spread peanut butter liberally
Top with fresh sliced fruit (strawberries are best, then blueberries, then bananas)
Then some Cool Whip.
Yum!

Options:
Use Nutella instead of peanut butter
Use more than one type of fruit (hey, go nuts)
Sprinkle with chocolate chips

Last night's dreams

Whenever my head hits the pillow, I dream. And I usually remember the dream, at least parts of it, when I wake up. A partial list of last night's dreams:

• Having a blue cheese and bacon omelet brunch with my mentor [who is actually in Abu Dhabi IRL]
• My boss called me into her office to tell me, "It's time to dress like a grown-up," because I was wearing jeans and flip-flops
• My husband and I watched a fancy hotel putting drapes up around the outside of the front of the hotel
• Trying to brush my teeth with two different toothbrushes

Photograph

Tlaquepaque, Jalisco, Mexico

Writing Group

I met with my writing group tonight and it was awesome, as usual. My writing group is a gang of three and we've been meeting regularly since 2004. We've read each other's fiction, poetry, experimental works, and novels. Sometimes we use a text, other times we take field trips or take our favorite writing teachers to dinner. I really like the exercises and we're a very encouraging group. Once we met in Dupont Circle and followed a guy around for about an hour, making up his story and what he was doing there. We also often bring book recommendations. It's a do-it-yourself class.

Tonight, we each brought our homework and read and gave each other notes. Last month's assignment was to write a story titled "How to Beat the Winter Blues" and we each had something totally different. My story still needs some work though.

Bare Naked Finger

In my cubicle this morning, I glanced down at my furiously typing hands and noticed I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. My finger looked bare and strange without the thin, platinum band. I married My Heart's Desire last April Fool's Day and have just the beginnings of a mark around my ring finger. It felt so weird not having it on. I'm used to wearing it almost all the time and definitely when I am out in the world.

Several times during the day I caught myself noticing that it was missing. With my thumb I rubbed the skin that's usually hidden by the ring. I felt like my hand was lying to me by withholding the evidence that I am married.

On my way home from work, I found my ring in the coin holder of my car, where I had put it this morning for safekeeping while I put hand lotion on on my way to get blood drawn. I slid it over my knuckle and into the groove, where it belonged.

On the Metro today

I love people-watching on the Metro. Particularly when I'm not traveling during rush hour and can see the people who are going wherever in the middle of the day. Today I saw a few interesting characters.

First, there was the older gray-haired gentleman wearing a three-piece suit and reading the Examiner. When he finished his paper, he folded it up and then proceeded to sigh loudly, attracting my attention even with headphones on. (I was listening to the Extra Cheese playlist today). Then he whipped out a pair of nail clippers and trimmed each of his nails, leaving the trimmings scattered on the carpet below. Where could he have been going that demanded immediate grooming?

Next, there was the youngish yuppie that stood in the back by the door, kind of obscured by the sleeping teenager that was wearing a knitted baseball cap. He was rocking out to his iPod in the mostly empty train car. When he thought nobody was looking, he proceeded to play air guitar on his slightly over sized messenger bag. It was awesome to watch. Yuppie. Air guitar. Messenger bag. I see a bar game in the future...

Last was the Metro DC cop, who was decked out in full police regalia with that kind of severe facial expression that is very bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? I saw him when I first got on the car, he was in the only spot on the car where nobody could come up behind him. Anyway, he had on the full uniform and jacket and when he finally got up to leave, I noticed he was carrying a tiny Scooby-Doo backpack.

A fine line between brave and foolish

The line between brave and foolish is so fine that it can be hard to tell which is which. Usually it's not until after the fact and I've had some time to think about it that can I really tell. A partial list on this very rainy Sunday morning:

Brave:
Riding a mechanical bull
Moving across the country to go to graduate school
Auditioning for The Vagina Monologues
Going on trips solo


Foolish:
Riding a mechanical bull, times 2 and 3
Thinking I can change someone from the sheer force of my will
Piercing my own nose
Wearing platforms on first day of new job (I ended up tripping over them and landed in the downward-facing dog position in front of the UPS guy. Classy.)

The blog show

Hello there, blog readers. I am a fiction, nonfiction, and poetry writer and I am currently working on all of the above. I also take photos sometimes and will post some of my favorites. I am taking baby steps to live my dream. Right now I'm trying to figure out ways to consistently carve out time for writing and editing. Like a lot of other people, I have a day job and try desperately to fit in time to write creatively. I write a lot for work. Earlier this year, my writer's group re-convened and we meet monthly, giving each other assignments and readings, sort of a do-it-yourself class. But with gossip and good snacks. It's very motivating and this month I sent out a few poems to half a dozen periodicals. All they can say is no, right?